


Only Human

by CaptainDeryn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angsting, Canon Compliant, Gen, alliance commander doesn't want to do his job, friends reuniting, non author canon, sarcasm and anger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDeryn/pseuds/CaptainDeryn
Summary: Captain Emeldir Deryn never asked to be Alliance Commander. Without his wife, his crew, friends, or family he's more isolated than he's ever felt and has the nagging suspicion he's nothing more than a tool in the eyes of his advisors. When Theron Shan brings the first good news he's heard in a long time he's forced to take a step back and wonder if he's as alone as he thinks he is.





	Only Human

The mournful song of a violin started quietly in the captain’s quarters of the _Phoenix_ , growing steadily louder as the shaking hands of the player steadied. Emeldir walked out of his quarters, violin at his shoulder as he experimentally drew the bow across the strings. The instrument was one of the only things of his remaining in the _Phoenix_ , hidden behind a loose panel in his quarters where no one that had laid their hands on his ship had bothered to look.

Emeldir closed his eyes, drawing the bow across the strings harder than he should have, wringing a shriek from the instrument. Being in his ship was difficult without his crew, echoes of memories sweeping across him in any room he entered. His quarters, the engine room, even the lounge area bringing back memories of Risha sharp as knives. Walking onto the bridge and turning to talk to Corso…

His hand slipped again, another sharp cry of protesting strings filling the space around him. Letting his hands drop to his sides, still clutching the violin like a lifeline. Yet he still found sanctuary in being in the ship for hours, sitting on the bridge, or against one of the walls.

He forced himself to walk into the lounge, taking slow steps and allowing memories and emotion wash over him. Yes, this was where Risha had accepted his offer of marriage. And yes, he was now here alone. Bringing the instrument up to his shoulder once more he began to play softly, allowing his thoughts and emotion to flow to his playing. Yes, according to Risha’s letter she had given up on him, and even before then so had Corso. Emeldir took a shuddering breath, the music he played shifting as his thoughts moved. No matter how many times he asked there was still no word on where his crew was, he had no contact with Captain Taqq even as they searched for her and that was _fine_.

Five years of his life were gone, he had to lead so many people all relying on him and that was also _fine_.

Lana, someone he thought he could trust, admitted in a letter after he had been stabbed by Arcann that she had only seen him as an asset instead of a person and that was _fine_ with him.

He brought the bow across the strings hard again by accident and he paused, taking a deep breath before resuming. Arcann and Vaylin wanted him dead, the galaxy was falling apart at the seems and that was okay. He could handle that.

Valkorian was in his head, trying to sway his actions and had caused the most pain he had had to endure when Arcann had stabbed him…Emeldir faltered, that was…

He pushed it away, playing louder to block his thoughts, putting all his concentration into what he was doing. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he was still in the lounge playing when the entry hatch to the _Phoenix_ hissed open.

“I didn’t realize you played the violin.” Emeldir jumped, wincing when the music he had been putting so much thought into ended in a sharp shriek. “I’d always assumed you practiced shooting in all your free time.”

He turned around slowly, setting his instrument down on the lounge chair next to him and using his sleeve to wipe at his eyes self consciously. At some point tears had started to fall and he hadn’t bothered to try and stop them. “Theron. How’d you get in here, I put access codes back on the ship.”

“Those weren’t hard to slice into and disable.” Theron almost sounded apologetic when Emeldir looked down, jaw working angrily. “You’d been missing for hours, Lana got worried when you didn’t show up for your third meeting.”

Oh. Emeldir pushed away the guilt at blowing off the Alliance meetings, lashing out at Theron scathingly. “My _sincerest_ apologies for trying to be my own person again. I didn’t realize my leash was so damn short.”

“Emeldir…” Theron sighed.

“Theron.” Emeldir snapped. “Don’t say it, do not tell me I am acting childish or that I need to put the Alliance before myself. I never-” He stopped himself, sucking in a breath and forcing it out again slowly, trying to push away his returning anger. Without looking at Theron he snatched up the violin again beginning to play and hoping the other man would leave. But he didn’t hear footsteps or the hatch open again. “Can’t you take a hint?”

“I’m not here to drag you back.” Emeldir scowled at the amusement hidden in the words. “And if you’d stop giving me the musical middle finger, I have good news.”

Good news…Emeldir didn’t believe him. Good news was a rarity around here, and not something that often graced him. He quieted down what he was playing so he could hear Theron, but did not stop.

“I’ve made contact with Captain Taqq.”

Emeldir fumbled, dropping the bow and letting his other hand fall to his side as he turned. “You’ve what?”

The corner of Theron’s mouth tilted up in the hint of a smile. “I’ve been trying relentlessly since Lana sent word that she rescued you. I’ve finally found her.”

The breath rushed out of Emeldir’s lungs and he sank down onto one of the couches, putting his face in his hands. “Taqq’s alright? Where is she?” He squeezed his eyes closed. He needed to know, needed to know that she was fine. He needed to see her.

“The Captain seemed alright, as good as anyone in this war is faring. I don’t know where she is but as soon as I mentioned you she was begging me to transmit coordinates to your location. She said she’d be here as fast as the hyperlanes can take her.”

Emeldir laughed, a breathy disbelieving sound. “I need to talk to her. Holo her, something.” He heard Theron begin to leave and looked up. “Theron, I…thank you. For what you’ve done.”

Theron smiled at him for real this time, if a little awkwardly. “Anything to keep Lana from tearing Odessen apart thinking Valkorian’s taken you to a nighttime woodland stroll again.” He joked. “I’ll leave you to make contact.” As the older man left, Emeldir stood and walked to the holoterminal, leaning against it.

Theron Shan, not an unlikely ally, but never someone he could have called a friend. But as Emeldir keyed into Rielay’s ship, the _Promise_ ’s holo frequency, he couldn’t help but be shocked by the fact that the SIS agent had become the kindest person to him on the base, and one of the only people he could fully trust. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very old story, but one I feel like needs to be put here. Nowadays my writing canon has Emeldir and Risha as co-commanders of the Alliance.
> 
> You can find me (and my characters!) on tumblr by captainderyn!


End file.
